10 Book Suggestions for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse

Education plays a major role in the healing process from narcissistic abuse. It is the first step that starts your journey to recovery. There are several useful resources online in the form of articles, blogs, forums and videos (For a helpful list, see 10 Online Resources for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse). To add to these helpful online resources, I suggest reading the following books.

I have chosen five secular books and five Christian books, which have helped me along my healing journey thus far. The secular books focus on psychology and the Christian books focus on the spiritual aspects. I believe it is imperative to understand narcissism and psychopathy from both points of views. Together you will be able to join the puzzle pieces; clearing up any confusion and uncertainty, which you may be experiencing.

The Christian books are not specifically written about psychopathy or narcissism, however in the grand scheme of understanding spiritual warfare, you will learn much about the spiritual forces at play and the necessity for deliverance after abusive relationships. The last Christian book on the list is one of love and hope in Christ during life’s most painful moments.

  1. ‘Confessions of a Sociopath’ by M E Thomas

This memoir is a one-of-a-kind book, as it is written directly from the point of view of a self-confessed psychopath. Reading the words from the horse’s mouth is spine-chilling. Thomas gives insight into the thought processes, motivations and manipulative techniques of psychopaths.

Though much of this book focuses on Thomas’s personal life story, the book still provides first-hand insight into the psychopath’s mind. In fact, the examples from her life, bring the theories to life. You may need to read this book in small doses. The horror is overwhelming, especially if you are still raw from the abuse and trauma.

Thomas runs an online forum for psychopaths called ‘sociopathworld.com.’ This is an additional resource to explore to gain understanding into the psychopath’s mind.

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Quote: “I regularly comment on my desire to exploit my admirers or to kill babies and cute animals, and I don’t even need to laugh or smile for people to think I am joking.”

  1. ‘Women Who Love Psychopaths’ by Sandra L Brown

If there was just one book that I could recommend, it would be this one. ‘Women Who Love Psychopaths’ is a comprehensive study into psychopaths as well as the woman who are harmed by them. The book is backed up by statistics and personal stories from multiple survivors. The most important take-away from this book is the revelation on what makes a woman a target to the psychopath. In learning this, you can protect yourself going forward in life.

Brown is the founder of ‘The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction’ and has over 20 years of experience working with women who have been abused by psychopaths. Her studies have brought her to the forefront of the psychotherapy industry as the authoritative voice on pathological love relationships.

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Quote: “Psychopaths enjoy power most when it is equated to, and produces, victimization. The psychopath will not find victory as ‘power inducing’ if the victim knowingly gives him what he wants. He prefers to victimize her somewhere in the process. In order for him to feel the most power, someone else must be weak.”

  1. ‘Psychopath Free’ by Jackson MacKenzie

MacKenzie is a survivor and uses his personal experience as a backdrop to explain the relationship patterns of psychopaths. MacKenzie openly shares his story and exposes the emotional damage done to individuals in these harmful relationships. Whilst much of the book specifically follows MacKenzie’s story, there is still much to be learnt about the broader scope of psychopaths in their relationship cycle.

Most importantly, MacKenzie brings hope to survivors for a new, happier and more fulfilling life ahead. MacKenzie has just released a new book called ‘Whole Again,’ which I have not read as yet, but I have heard good reviews about it.

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Quote: “The most important thing to remember for all trauma survivors; there is nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful. You were thrown into an impossible situation, and you survived. Your innocence was taken away without your permission. You were violated. But in this violation, you regained something that takes most people a lifetime to find. You path may be painful, but it is also special.”

  1. ‘Healing from Hidden Abuse’ by Shannon Thomas

Thomas is the owner and lead therapist for Southlake Christian Counselling’ in Texas, USA. In her book, she does an excellent job of breaking down the healing process. Each stage is explored in great detail. The book is filled with compassionate insight from a psychotherapist’s point of view. In particular, I found this book to be highly validating for survivors. Thomas, herself, is a survivor which brings an additional element of understanding to her perspective.

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Quote: “… toxic people do not pick weak people as their targets. This is a common misconception among survivors. On the contrary, psychologically abusive people set out to take down the biggest challenge that presented itself at the time. The abuser sees a huge victory to turn an independent survivor into a needy, dependent person who can no longer make decisions without the abusive person’s help. The abuser often complains about how weak the survivor has become, but it is exactly the abuser’s actions that have made the changes. Blaming the survivor is the ultimate insult. Many targets experience deep levels of shame when they realize how different they have become while in these relationships.”

  1. ‘The Journey’ by Meredith Miller

Miller is a survivor who has lived through three decades of narcissistic abuse with multiple abusers. Her book is a great guide to the healing steps in the recovery process. She highlights the do’s and don’ts for effective healing.

Miller is a holistic healing coach who runs a successful coaching service and YouTube channel called ‘Inner Integration.’ Her videos offer extensive advice on all relevant topics related to recovery.

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Quote: “When manipulators are using idealization, they’re looking for positive supply in the form of attention, adoration, devotion, sex, money, etc. When they are using devaluation, they’re looking for negative supply in the form of anger, outrage, jealousy, emotional outbursts, fear, pain, etc.”

  1. ‘Deliverance and Spiritual Warfare Manual’ by John Eckhardt

Eckhardt’s guide to deliverance is a constant go-to-guide in life. He covers the A to Z about spiritual warfare. There is no issue that he leaves uncovered in this book. You can apply the knowledge from this book to problems encountered in any area of your life at any time, not specifically to recovery from abuse.

By gaining a broad understanding of warfare, you will learn to combat demonic forces in your life, tear down strongholds and break free of curses. Eckhardt is an authoritative voice in this day and age on spiritual warfare and deliverance.

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Quote: “God has established the victory for you over the powers of the enemy. Deliverance will give you rest, and spiritual warfare will give you the training, strategies, and endurance so that you can live abundantly under the covenant blessings of God.”

  1. ‘Self-deliverance’ by K A Schneider

After encountering a psychopath, especially in an intimate relationship, there will most likely be need for deliverance in your life. Schneider offers a step by step guide to self-deliverance. He addresses core issues such an emotional wounding.

The best part of this book is that Schneider speaks from a place of compassion and never takes a judgmental stance. Schneider is a Messianic Jewish Rabbi and the host of the TV show ‘Discovering the Jewish Jesus.’

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Quote: “We are going to be wounded in life at times, grieved, pained, under stress and pressure. Things will happen from the realm of darkness that we cannot understand. But we have a God who cares. As we look to Him, we are renewed day by day. He restores my soul.”

  1. ‘Pigs in the Parlor’ by Frank Hammond

This book addresses two major demonic forces which are running rampant in our time. These are the spirits of rebellion and rejection. Hammond and his wife, Ida, had extensive experience with casting out these demons in individuals during the span of their deliverance ministry.

Their insight into these spirits will reveal much of what you need to know in order to understand the inner influences of the psychopath and narcissist. You will understand where these spirits have come from and why they plague these individuals, as well as non-psychopathic individuals too.

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Quote: “Warfare is not prayer! It is in addition to prayer. There is no point in petitioning God for something He has already given you. God has given us power and authority over the devil. We must not expect God to get the devil off our backs. He has already defeated Satan and given us the ability and responsibility to take care of ourselves. This truth is a revelation to many believers —it is good news! No wonder so many prayers have seemed unanswered. We need to stop storming heaven for what has already been provided and start using what God has given us.”

  1. ‘Destroying the Spirit of Rejection’ by John Eckhardt

Most survivors will struggle with feelings of rejection if they have been discarded by a narcissist or psychopath. More than this, the psychopath or narcissist is most likely also battling a deep sense of rejection from childhood. The help from this book will therefore be two-fold.

It will help you to understand the rejection which causes the psychopath’s condition, and it will help you recover from the spirit of rejection in your life brought on by the psychopath or narcissist.

Rejection is one of the hardest spirits to overcome and is responsible for much pain and damage in the world today. Addressing this spirit is imperative for healthy living.

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Quote: “One of the first things you need to understand if you are believing God for restoration in your life is that the enemy will fight to prevent you from being restored. He is not going to make it easy. You have to be determined.”

  1. ‘Hope for the Troubled Heart’ by Billy Graham

The aftermath of the abusive relationship leaves you feeling worthless, traumatized and grieved. You may lose your sense of identity and purpose through the abuse. Your faith in God might also be shaken.

This book, by the late, world-renowned evangelist Billy Graham, offers hope for all hurting souls, regardless of your situation. The promise of Christ’s love brings healing power into your life and circumstances. I would encourage you to read this book for a renewed sense of hope and trust in God.

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Quote: “Perhaps the greatest psychological, spiritual, and medical need that all people have is the need for hope.”

It is my wish that these books bring you healing and hope along your journey of recovery from one of the most malicious kinds of abuse out there. If you have any other book suggestions, please feel free to share the titles and authors in the comments below. Wishing you much love, hope and wholeness going forward.

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